16 January 2014

Where does your slang place you?


Snitched from the New Yorker, here is a quiz to help reveal where you are from. See how accurate it is for you: 

What Do Y’All, Yinz, and Yix Call Stretchy Office Supplies?

 How well does this test of regional slang reveal where you’re from? Answer the questions below to find out.

What do you call sweetened carbonated beverages?
a. Soda
b. Pop
c. Coke
d. Dope
e. Horse
f. Fizz-bang
g. Explodo
h. Gentleman’s seltzer
i. Heaven bubbles

What do you call the stretchy office supplies used to hold items together?
a. Rubber bands
b. Elastics
c. Flippos
d. Snapshooters
e. Wigglers
f. Stretchums
g. Satan’s bracelets

How do you address two or more people?
a. You
b. Youse
c. Y’all
d. Yinz
e. Yiff
f. Yix
g. Motherfuckers

What do you call sunshine?
a. Rays
b. Shinola
c. Pineapple heat
d. Cloud-isn’t
e. Bright ’n’ hot
f. Fiddlin’ Jesus

What do you call the insects that live in your closet and eat your sweaters?
a. Wool hogs
b. Yarn hellers
c. Fluff lice
d. Fuzz weevils
e. Fezziwigs
f. Linda and Kevin
g. Sweater jerks
h. Scarf jerks
i. Scarf jerks and sweater jerks are different jerks
j. Scarf jerks and sweater jerks are interchangeable

How do you pronounce “aunt”?
a. Ant
b. Aunt
c. Ain’t
d. Aren’t
e. I use ant, aunt, ain’t, and aren’t interchangeably

What do you call the seasonal treat that’s often flavored with nutmeg?
a. Egg nog
b. Nog nog
c. Peg leg
d. Glögg
e. Snurf
f. Gnip gnop
g. Sea org

What do you call a shop where alcoholic beverages are sold that lacks a drive-through window?
a. Liquor store
b. Packie
c. Grog shop
d. No-go booze-oh
e. Miss Hannigan’s bathtub
f. Get-out-of-the-car beer barn
g. The reason I moved to New Mexico
h. I have never heard of such a thing; the very notion is altogether revolting

What do you call the insects that live in your bed and suck your blood?
a. Bedbugs
b. Dream stinkers
c. Blood-yums
d. Mattress assholes
e. No-want-’ems
f. Landlord’s tears
g. Nosferatu, Jrs.

What do you call the small freshwater lobsters that end up in a gumbo?
a. Crawfish
b. Crayfish
c. Crawdads
d. Crawdoodles
e. Crawdoodleedoodles
f. Crawdaddios
g. Pool lobsters
h. Puddle lobsters
i. Mudbugs
j. Please don’t put these in my gumbo

What do you call a grassy area with gravestones and bodies in it?
a. Cemetery
b. Boneyard
c. Haunt-grass
d. Church dominoes
e. Skeleton hider
f. John Brown & Co.
g. Goth cotillion
h. Makeout point
i. The only place I can truly relax
j. I have heard of the concept but have no specific term for it

What do you call the weather phenomenon involving icy flakes and loud rumbling?
a. Thundersnow
b. Mjölnir went down to Georgia
c. Direwolf’s wedding
d. Puffin’s disco
e. Snow Miser vs. Heat Miser
f. Snow-monkey hot-spring battle
g. Immigrant Song

What do you call the body parts that you walk on?
a. Feet
b. Longfellows
c. Leg finishers
d. Walkos
e. Fool’s car
f. Hands
* * *


Jack said...

It has me pretty accurately. It says Boston/Worcester (I grew up 15 miles north of Boston) or Providence (where I went to college).

William Kendall said...

I'm falling about laughing reading some of these options. Mjoliner went down to Georgia, huh? And graveyards being the only place one can relax is hilarious!

Others are a cultural mystery to me. I've never heard of rubber bands being called satan's bracelets.

Rick said...

The alcohol store would be a Red Dot, or at least it was when I was an alcohol consumer.

Charlestonjoan said...

Well done!

Charlestonjoan said...

They really tickled my funny bone. Someone had fun coming up with this quiz.

Charlestonjoan said...

You are correct. That should have been an option.

William Kendall said...

I took it myself. Apparently though I'm outside the country, in terms of closest fitting, no big surprise, upper New York state.

Susan Moorhead said...

Yonkers area which is just miles away so pretty dead on. Although I would love to visit some of those places with such colorful speech!