24 August 2009

Things You Don't Want to Hear in Surgery

Waterfront Park, Charleston, S.C.

This long hot summer is beginning to make me grouchy. There isn't really anything you can do outside without dripping sweat, showering, changing clothes yet again. Besides, I've been at work for twelve hours, I'm starving and none of you have dinner ready.

Time for a funny. As you know, I am obligated to pass on all medical humor.

Things you don't want to hear in Surgery:

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.

Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.


Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them.

What do you mean you want a divorce?

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature!

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.