How hot is it?

Charleston, SC    

Our annual "How Hot is it?" entry:

With a heat index of 106, it's already so hot in South Carolina that...

* A seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

* When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

* It's so hot outside it will make you return things you never stole.

* It's hotter than a steel playground at noon.

* You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

* The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

* Hot water now comes out of both taps.

* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

• It's so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

• It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

* It is so hot even the sea breeze feels like a hair dryer...

• It was so hot today I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

• It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

• It's so hot that the trees are creeping around looking for shade.

• It's stupid hot!

• It is hot enough to cure tobacco.

• It's hotter than the devil's underwear.

• It's another one of those aluminum foil sweater days.

* It's so hot you could spit fire. But, please don't.