14 July 2017

How hot is it?

Charleston, SC    
Our annual "How Hot is it?" entry:
With a heat index of 106, it's already so hot in South Carolina that...
* A seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
* It's so hot outside it will make you return things you never stole.
* It's hotter than a steel playground at noon.
* You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
* The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps.
* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• It's so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
* It is so hot even the sea breeze feels like a hair dryer...
• It was so hot today I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
• It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.
• It's so hot that the trees are creeping around looking for shade.
• It's stupid hot!
• It is hot enough to cure tobacco.
• It's hotter than the devil's underwear.
• It's another one of those aluminum foil sweater days.

* It's so hot you could spit fire. But, please don't.


rob eades said...

Even Ann Miller must be looking for shade!

rob eades said...

in the afternoon only mad dogs and Englishmen walk on the east side of King street!

William Kendall said...

Yikes! We're at 22C today, but there's a humidex out saying it feels like 29C.