Undignified Ways to Die

Bethany Cemetery, Charleston, SC

Undignified Ways to Die
Skin diving with gas tanks you stole from a dentist.
Renting a basement apartment in Venice.

Wearing clown shoes while walking through a mine field at night.
Getting a life-size tattoo of someone your height.

Mistaking a python for your favorite tie.
Hangliding at night on the 4th of July.

Having a bowling ball dropped on your head.
Mooning some cannibals who haven't been fed.

Teasing some Scot's for wearing their kilts.
Approaching a chopper while walking on stilts.

Swimming with sharks in a suit made of meat.
Flashing yourself to a hippo in heat.

Slapping the head of a bald drunken sailor.
Telling your date's burly dad: "Five bucks says I nail her."
Paul Gilmartin

Oh heck, just listen to it. I was laughing out loud in the car on the way to work last week and had to find it for you.